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The Cottage poster
CrapScore 62, Certified Crap

The Cottage

“Sleeps Six Bloody Comfortably”

Certified Crap. CrapScore 62, rated by 1 admin.

Higher CrapScores mean more entertainingly bad. How we score movies.

Why it’s crap
An incompetent kidnapping sends two brothers and their captive into the path of a murderous farmer. Andy Serkis and Reece Shearsmith carry the early criminal farce before the countryside supplies a different kind of threat. The abrupt genre turn is central to its appeal and unevenness.

Nominated by @flabbergasted_jones

The club’s verdict

Acting
4/10
Plot
8/10
Effects
4.5/10
Dialogue
7/10
Rewatchability
7.5/10
  • “The ransom plan has reached a location with worse problems than the kidnappers.”

    @flabbergasted_jones, scored it 62

Synopsis and movie facts

In a remote part of the countryside, a bungled kidnapping turns into a living nightmare for four central characters when they cross paths with a psychopathic farmer and all hell breaks loose.

Released
2008
Directed by
Paul Andrew Williams
Running time
92 min

Starring

  • Andy Serkis as David
  • Reece Shearsmith as Peter
  • Jennifer Ellison as Tracey
  • Steven O'Donnell as Andrew
  • Cat Meacher as Club Receptionist
  • Danny Nussbaum as Man in Suit
  • Logan Wong as Muk Li San
  • Jonathan Chan-Pensley as Chun Yo Fu

Research behind this pick

Researched . Explore the film references and reviews below.

  • Film reference · themoviedb.org

    Canonical film identity, release date, runtime, director credits, cast, genres, synopsis and poster checked against TMDB movie 13849.

  • Review · moriareviews.com

    The review describes the botched ransom setup and the casting of Serkis and Shearsmith in this modestly budgeted horror comedy.

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