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Things poster
CrapScore 82, Premium Crap

Things

“Conceived by a lunatic, hatched within a human womb...”

Premium Crap. CrapScore 82, rated by 1 admin.

Higher CrapScores mean more entertainingly bad. How we score movies.

Why it’s crap
An ill-advised experiment leads to grotesque creatures and a houseful of people who struggle to communicate like earthlings. Murky images, ragged sound and wandering scenes make this less a conventional horror story than a difficult expedition into homemade cinema.

Nominated by @flabbergasted_jones

The club’s verdict

Acting
9/10
Plot
9.5/10
Effects
9/10
Dialogue
8/10
Rewatchability
5.5/10
  • “Something is in the house. It may be the missing screenplay.”

    @flabbergasted_jones, scored it 82

Synopsis and movie facts

An impotent husband with a fanatical desire to father children, forces his wife to undergo a dangerous experiment. This results in the birth of a multitude of monstrous THINGS.

Released
1989
Directed by
Andrew Jordan
Running time
84 min

Starring

  • Amber Lynn as Reporter
  • Barry J. Gillis as Don Drake
  • Bruce Roach as Fred Horton
  • Doug Bunston as Doug Drake
  • Jan W. Pachul as Dr. Lucas
  • Patricia Sadler as Susan Drake

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TYPE A TITLE. TYPOS ARE FINE._