Skip to content
Crap Movies Club, home
← Browse movies
Never Too Young to Die poster
CrapScore 84, Premium Crap

Never Too Young to Die

“Action: Bond style. Beauty: Vanity style. Hero: American style.”

Premium Crap. CrapScore 84, rated by 1 admin.

Higher CrapScores mean more entertainingly bad. How we score movies.

Why it’s crap
A young gymnast inherits his father's espionage troubles and faces a villain who appears to have escaped from a different, much louder film. Gene Simmons's extravagant performance turns the secret-agent fantasy into an unforgettable collision of action, camp and music-video swagger.

Nominated by @flabbergasted_jones

The club’s verdict

Acting
8.5/10
Plot
9/10
Effects
7.5/10
Dialogue
8.5/10
Rewatchability
8.5/10
  • “Spy school has a gymnastics programme and an alarming guest lecturer.”

    @flabbergasted_jones, scored it 84

Synopsis and movie facts

Secret agent Drew Stargrove is brutally murdered by the ruthless hermaphrodite gang leader Velvet Von Ragnar. The murdered secret agent's son, Lance Stargrove is thrust into the dangerous and intriguing world of secret agents and espionage when he seeks revenge. Danja Deerling teams up with Lance as his sidekick and love interest.

Released
1986
Directed by
Gil Bettman
Running time
92 min

Starring

  • John Stamos as Lance Stargrove
  • Vanity as Danja Deering
  • Gene Simmons as Velvet Von Ragnar
  • George Lazenby as Drew Stargrove
  • Robert Englund as Riley
  • Peter Kwong as Cliff
  • Ed Brock as Pyramid
  • John Anderson as Arliss

Comments 0

Log in to join the conversation.

No comments yet. Somebody has to go first.

TYPE A TITLE. TYPOS ARE FINE._